But first a summary of some of the films of note that I’ve seen recently.

The Lovely Bones - ★★★★★ – Mind deadingly saccharine; Laughably disappointing.

Invictus – ★★★★★- Disbelief never suspended, plods like a prop.

It’s Complicated – ★★★★★- What is wrong with Steve Martin’s face? Zero care in these old folk rutting.

Sherlock Holmes – ★★★★★- Quintessential Boxing Day film. Guy Ritchie not writing his own scripts is his only future.

Fantastic Mister Fox – ★★★★★- Bizarre script to subject matter to intended audience equation. Tastes like Fanny.

Transformers 2 -★★★★★ – An act of coitus interruptus over a copy of Playboy after shafting the petrol tank of a rusty old banger.

A Single Man – ★★★★★ – Elegant, seductive, passionate, authentic.

Ponyo – ★★★★★- Less awe-inspiring than in the past; a correlation with western accessibility.

The Road – ★★★★★- Gripping bleakness.

The Men Who Stare at Goats – ★★★★★- Neither hide nor hare of an actual plot, more suited to being an anecdote.

The White Ribbon – ★★★★★- A quiet rural village’s sinister prologue to Germany’s brutal past.

A Prophet – ★★★★★- A rare gem that transcends the world cinema section. À l’ombre de Shawshank.

A Serious Man - ★★★★★- The Coen brother’s Tanakh.

Precious – ★★★★★- A gander at the epitome of abject existence.

An Education – ★★★★★- Oh I say how very English. Performances > Story.

The Hurt Locker – ★★★★★- Stressful nihilism.

Up in the Air – ★★★★★- Hunky Clooney Clunky Movie.

Inglourious Basterds – ★★★★★- Christoph Waltz dominates the collection of riveting set pieces.

Most Recent Release : A Memory Stream

In my view the best album yet from electronic infused post-rock Duo, Seriously good.
http://www.myspace.com/americandollarband
www.last.fm/music/The+American+Dollar

United Nations

Most Recent Release – Self Titled
Through back to  lo-fi screamo bands like Orchid, Joshua Fit For Battle and Pg.99. Not the most original thing ever but nice to hear this sound again. oh and members include Daryl Palumbo (glassjaw) and Geoff Rickly (thursday) who would have thought.
http://www.myspace.com/unitednations
http://www.last.fm/music/United+Nations

Enduser

Most Recent Release -  Left
One of my fav Glitch djs back with a new , lighter than normal, record that shows he isnt just interested in eating your eardrums.

http://www.myspace.com/enduser

http://www.last.fm/music/Enduser

Department of Eagles

Most Recent Release – In Ear Park
Nice woodland, campfire, Grizzly Bear esque indie from the states

http://www.last.fm/music/Department+of+Eagles

Tesa

Most Recent Release – Heartbeatfromthesky
Progressive doom that sits somewhere between Cult of Luna and Pelican

http://www.last.fm/music/Tesa

Most recent release – Night Terrors

Featuring ex members of Harkonen.  Great sprawling doom with interesting joint male a female vocals. Released through Hydra Head records.

http://www.myspace.com/helmsaleemusic

http://www.last.fm/music/Helms+Alee

Up-C Down-C- Left-C  Right-C ABC + Start

Upcoming Release – Embers

Probably the best Uk Post Rock release of the year, brilliantly driven and beautifully constructed.

http://www.myspace.com/upcdownc

http://www.last.fm/music/Up-C%2BDown-C%2BLeft-C%2BRight-C%2BABC%2B%252B%2BStart

Sumner Mckane

Most Recent Release – What a Great Place To Be

Soothing dreamy guitar Post Rock , great melody and patience.

http://www.myspace.com/sumnermckane

http://www.last.fm/music/Sumner+McKane

The Stills

Upcoming Release – Oceans Will Rise

Often criminally overlooked upbeat Canadian indie return with great new record.
http://www.myspace.com/thestills
http://www.last.fm/music/The+Stills

Ghostland Observatory

Recent Release – Robotique Majestique

Flamboyant electro Duo with a front man heavily influenced by Freddy Mercury and Prince

http://www.myspace.com/ghostlandobservatory

http://www.last.fm/music/Ghostland+Observatory

A man that dresses up as a bat is not friends with a man that has a clown face and there some other stuff and that.

This was always going to be where Chris Nolan and his rejuvenated Batman series was going to be judged. The Role of the Bat had already been handed around by the time he decided to shock new life into the Manbat corpse Joel Schumacher had left behind. Jack Nicholson’s Joker has always been seen as perfect casting and execution and the brightest twinkle in the original run. So to attempt to wipe peoples memories of this and persuade audiences to follow him in his new direction was always going to be tough. But what he and the late Ledger have done is managed to take this kooky comic book villain and turn him into the baddest modda fucka you never want to be in a room with.
There’s a precarious line Nolan walks, trying to balance the reality and violence of the world he wants to portray and the fantastical campness of the source material. There are moments in the film, especially when any form of technology is on screen, where you wish he were able to leave the gadgets and gizmos alone and concentrate on what he’s doing best. The emotional connection between the characters is greater than in most crime dramas and this is where the film shines. Im not convinced that Nolen is a big Booms and Bangs director, some of the bigger explosion scenes don’t pop as you might expect if say Michael Mann was at the helm. Speaking of Mann there are moments that remind you of Heat especially at the start.(also a bit of Die Hard With A Vengeance in there too)
But the explosions and chases are not what you are here for. It’s the morel questions that Nolen is interested in. Can any good man turn bad is the question the film asks. As a society, if forced, can we make the right decision? There is probably one Morel set piece too many however and the point seems a tad laboured by the end.
The film sprints out of the blocks not leaving any time for you to catch your breath as if you have been dropped in to the final third of a film. The plump running time, especially plump for a what is a comic book film, doesn’t have chance to weigh around your neck.
The acting from all is of the best quality you will see in a summer blockbuster. Ledger and Oldman manage to run rings around Bale who seems surprisingly underwhelming. As with Burtons Batman you do find yourself wanting the film to focus more on the Joker and you often want to be shown parts other to that which are on screen.
It’s the darkness that’s always been most kind to Batman and Nolen has brought a new social level of depravity that suits rather well. This is the best Batman films from either generation.

The Good:
• A Dark, intelligent comic book blockbuster.
• Expert Performances
• Nolen has made these characters seem real and 3 dimensional

The Bad
• A couple of scenes seem to be cut for the censors , No way this film should be less than a 15
• The Technology, and that voice Bale does as Batman? WTF?
• Heath Ledgers last performance, after this the world really would have been wide open for him

At The End of It All:
The best and most engaging Batman film to date

8/10

Wall-E is the last of the robots left on Earth charged with cleaning up the mess humans left behind before they buggered off to the stars.

Another year another Pixar slab of joy that puts all other animated films in the corner with a huge dunces hat on their stupid head gurning as pudding runs down their rubbish chin just letting it spill all over their nice celebrity endorsed corduroys.
Wall-E is without doubt their most ambitious film to date. In previous films they have opted to adding a voice and personality to those that wouldn’t normally posses them. Here we have a small Johnny Number 5 looking droid that can only say 3 words and none of them with any real ease. Yet in his silence and thanks to a pair of emotion filled peepers Wall-E is able to portray more personality than he has any rite to. Where the film really excels is in the initial scenes where Wall-e is all but alone just going about his directive. Without saying a word we discover everything there is to know about this lonely, inquisitive, caring little scamp. Sadly these moments are all too fleeting and company soon enough arrives to throw laser-lips’ world upside down.
From here the films obvious ecological message is pointed at time and again in a way that Pixar have never done before. None of their previous films have had a political message for its audiences. This is arguably the perfect platform for this sort of scolding as the adults that flock to these essentially kids films might sit up and take notice. Either that or the ones that brought nippers along with them will be looked at with teary eyes and asked “Why we be fucking up da planet daddy”. Agreed the child’s use of language would probably be the parent’s first priority but after that they might have a little think.
Once Wall-E does inevitably come face to face with his makers the film does lose some of its initial ballsy charm and revert to type. Leaving you with a lamenting hope that they might have stuck to the dialogue free escapades of the first half.
The press reaction to Wall-E has been pretty unbelievable. From almost every quarter its been getting perfect scores and universal acclaim. This is always a double-edged sword. Good because you know its worth seeing; Bad because no film can ever live up to this sort of praise.

I’ve always been a big Pixar fan, Finding Nemo being my favourite, and I’m sorry to say Wall-E that my favourite it remains.

The Good:
• Joyous introduction to Wall-E and his way of life
• Best looking Pixar yet, often photo realistic
• Will put one heck of a smile on your ugly face

The Bad
• Wall-E does so much better when just on his own
• Strange inclusion of live action in the historical videos
• The social parable even though fairly obvious might still be lost on those who really should take heed.

At The End of it All:
Wall-E will win your heart but what starts off so elegantly original gets a little clumsy once humans show up.

8/10

A extremely average chap slowly becomes a super assassin.

So i guess Wanted is the adult action film of the summer. Not a marvel action hero in sight.
But what you get instead is testosterone filled, psychics defying, gun fetishising, accent avoiding, over the top mess that has the sort of mind numbing plot explanations that would make Micheal Bay cringes.
The main route of the plot is directly lifted from The Matrix, apathetic Joe finds out he is meant for greater things. McAvoy is this Joe, Or in this case Wesley (when has a hero ever been called Wesley?) and offers up a really quite terrible Amierican Scots accent last seen spewing out of Shaun Connerys gob. After being charged with the task of killing his assassin fathers assassin Wesley gets into training Assassin Style. Its not just the plot that borrows generously from The Matrix, some of the training scenes and direction also owes a lot to the Wsvhowski brothers. There is also a huge amount of attempted Cool and Style that was successfully attempted in Fight Club or Lucky Number Slevin. But here it just comes off as corny posturing. One scene where after quiting the job he hates McAvoy wraps his keyboard around a co-workers face in super slow mo resulting in hail of keys frying through the air and coming together to spell the phrase Fuck You. (GOOD GRIEF!)
The main attempt at a ‘Thing’ – a ‘Super Power’ that the assassins can do is that they can bend the path of bullets. Aside from this being against newtons law of motion it is also a lame plot devise and really adds little to the film other than more groans and pff-ing. Don’t even get me started on “The Loom of Fate”
It would however take a truly jaded soul to not get a little bit excited through some of the more explosive set pieces, But rarely has there been such disregard for the lives of passes by which really makes little sense when the culprits of this devastation are trained assassins who are meant to only kill their one target.
Jolie is little more than eye candy and stays as far away from a convincing performance as i think is possible.
Its all too much, and leaves you feeling even more apathetic than McAvoy was at the very start.

The Good

• High Octane stuff
• Pacing is about right
• Reminds you how good the 1st Matrix really was

The Bad

• Tries way too hard, goes out of its way to do the cool thing rather than whats practice.
• Total disregard for science.
• McAvoy needs to avoid this sort of action film if he is to have any sort of prologued career.

At The End of it all:
A Film that is so blatant in its attempts to give every male in the audience a boner at any opportunity but leaves you limp and full of shame.

5/10

Panda: I know Kung Fu
Dustin Hoffman: Show me

The Dreamworks efforts at CGI animated films aimed primary at kids have so far been down right awful. More too often relying on big name star voices , over blown musical interludes and failing to deliver on their high concept premises. Kung Fu Panda is the most high concept title to any of the DW offerings so far: there is a panda that does kung fu, thats everything said right there in three words everything past that is window dressing and circumstantially. And you know what, it is the best so far. The entire cast as always is made up of actors big enough to can carry a whole film themselves but thankfully you don’t notice them the only real recognisable voice work is done by Jack Black, Hoffman and later on Ian “Cocksucker” McShane (sadly none of his Deadwood potty mouth makes its way into the film) And thats a good thing. There is no points where the plot screeches to a halt to allow the cast of cute animals to break into song. The laughs do come from the usual places, unimaginative slapstick and anthropomorphic cliches. Thankfully Jack Black is able to fill the Panda with enough character that any flat scenes are rescued by a short adlib. He also never falls to his hyperactive over acting tendencies.
Its an obvious plot and thats fine it ticks all the right boxes for an overcoming the odds film.
It is still not better than anything Pixar have done except maybe “Cars” but at last they have managed to make something that the parents of over excited sprogs wont be wishing they were dead throughout.

The Good

• No hammy Songs
• Slick animation and kinetic action scenes
• Enough for the older ones in the audience to enjoy for once.

The Bad

• Still only as good as the worst Pixar Film
• Choice of voice actors is still done on name rather than talent
• Never generates more than a snicker or chortle

At The End of it All:
At last an animated film from Dreamworks that isn’t a forgettable pile or zoo mess.

6/10

LAZY
OBNOXIOUS
VULGER
EVERYONE SHOULD BE ASHAMED
GIVE IT UP MIKE MYERS
UN FUNNY
RACIST
UGLY
SHALLOW
UN FUNNY AGAIN
CAN’T HE JUST MAKE WAYNES WORLD AGAIN?
KEEP AWAY
SUCKS

1/10